requieMater
It's been some years since mother died and yet not once since then have I sat and cried beside her grave. A lovely woman, amply framed, who favored, savored even Emeraude, and blue jays, daffodils, "Amazing Grace," and Chicken Cordon bleu, and Brandy Alexanders. But then the hateful cancers, the horrible, insatiable crabs devoured the flesh, they destroyed the place in which she lived the too short while she lived with us. A gentle woman, and gracious, she feared old age, the steady ebb, the fading gifts of mind, of body that left her father lacking simple dignities, dependent. She knew: not knowing was no solace, it was in fact much worse to her than just not having. O how much more unfair: for leaving us too soon she was not fully spared, or even some, some twenty, thirty years of raging anguish, the pain distilled it seemed in half a year as life was rapid-boiled, was steamed from loving, jaundiced bones, evaporated. O but please and O but would and O why could she not go gentle O go gentle just O please go gentle Please, and ... and, finally peace. And no, since then not once have I sat beside her grave. But she has sat with me, within my heart, and tried to mend the broken places --with daffodils, "Amazing Grace," and the heady scent of Emeraude-- and kept me gentle company. It's been some years and still sometimes I sit and cry a lonesome tear.
1989, ©1998, Ed Lein
COMMUNION
The sky in doubt,dusk tears the light.
This twilight time
when "tears of night ...
by ones and twos"
begin, then flow.
Uncertain, sobbing
torrents sieze,
take siege.
But darkness
(soon day's weeping ends)
envelopes doubt.
And peaceful night--
transcendent, soothing
--woos, amends.
Amen, and peace.
Full night about,
and stars and awe:
the stars like
souls alight.
A choir of souls,
a single voice,
one light, one soul
--your soul a part.
A choir apart
a part of all,
a light of souls,
one voice.
This night of awe,
of stars, the sky
and peace.
1989, ©1998, Ed Lein
MIRAGE
The mirror: broke;the image: scattered.
Shattered hope holds fast
in troubled flesh.
From splintered glass
shallow wounds soon mend.
Scars faded, soon forgot
(or late forgiven)
1979, ©1998, Ed Lein
HELLSCAR
Hell hath no fury,
Lost love leaves no scar
As hateful and worrisome
As an ill-tempered car.
1982, ©1998, Ed Lein
HOT ROD
You're feelin' tense alone at home so take a hit and hit the road. The sky looks pissed or maybe stoned on neon. Your hot-rod purrs, your Hot Rod stirs, you're feelin' BAD and wailin', sailin' free... Control is oozin' but you ain't losin' it (oh no) or Nothin'. You rush along to nowhere good Should some "gash" pass (a "piece of ass" a "pie to slice") you idle by and bray some inane epithet: "Hey, bay-bay-baby!" to impress some bro.? or may-may-maybe to turn a head to feed your own misguided, misplaced self-esteem (you stupid slimy selfish supercilious orifice) Or what's much worse (or much the same) you think: "All babes is 'ho'es who need the likes of Me to make 'em smile and coo" (it's sad to think that some girls do) But say a prayer 'cause sane girls don't. Go trip and trick and race alone into oblivion.
1989, ©1998, E. Lein
A WINTER'S MONTH
A winter's month of springtime's dayswondered at the season's change,
and challenged trees and Lenten flowers,
swayed from care, to sprout and bloom.
Bold lovers wooed while children danced,
and daring buds (as from Jesse's branch)
peeked out mid-winter, mid un-April showers,
fooled by the sun to discount the moon.
Sly winter then, too long dismissed,
betrayed Love's garden with an icy kiss,
and chilled the soul and bade it cower,
and changed Love's bower to a frozen tomb.
"Jesus arose!" waking hills would proclaim,
but, dumbstruck, no chorus of flowers remained
thus to sing. Like a too-anxious lover,
spring came too soon.
1989, ©1998, Ed Lein
EXQUISITE MISTS
An exquisite mist floats gentleon the sultry perfumed breeze
of summer's silent mid-night
while mirrored moonlight's graceful
dance and timid-breaking waves
massage with whispers
the long expanse of lisping sands
that measure slowly lonesome heart-beats
of the timid, breaking waves,
and exquisite mists float warm
and gentle.
1989, ©1998, Ed Lein (rev.2021)
YUPPIE MATINS
(The Meaning of the Dawn)
It seems with forlorn songs that mourning doves
mistake the meaning of the creeping dawn
and ululate when dreams release their hold,
and eulogize the dying of the stars.
"When Phoebus comes to counsel and console,
To wash the slumber off dawn's ruddy face,
Then waking morning-glories glow with dew,
And lowing cattle pace their well-trod way."
(Kyrie eleison)
So, too, slowly, we suit up and follow suit while distant steel/glass towers capture light and gleam like votive candles: silent, tall-- bright beacons of prosperity and hope.
(Christe eleison)
They beckon and we rush to heed their call (sustained by bacon, coffee and croissants) and mockingbirds sing lauds and then reprise, and, peopled, streets and sidewalks are revived.
(Kyrie eleison)
But as the chill subsides and shadows shrink,
through unwashed, hungry lips a child sighs low
for daylight robs her only home-of-dreams.
Her hope sinks fast. A mocking bird sings on.
1989, ©1998, Ed Lein
Your praises singing;
We come to hear Your word:
Hear our thanksgiving.
Enter our hearts we pray;
Our fears and faults allay,
And lead us night and day,
Lead us, Good Shepherd.
Come, Lord of Time and Earth,
Keep us from judging;
Help us see others' worth
Without begrudging.
Lord, help us put aside
Our selfishness and pride,
And ever be our guide,
Lead us, Good Shepherd
In every nation,
Bind now all hearts in truth,
Love, and compassion.
Teach us to shun offense,
Free us from arrogance,
Lead us to tolerance,
Lead us, Dear Shepherd.
We kneel before you, Lord,
Our sins confessing;
We now implore you, Lord,
Grant us your blessing.
You are our Sole Defense;
Restore our innocence
Through your benevolence,
Our souls embracing. (Our souls embracing).
Savior, by us adored, (Savior adored),
Our sins erasing: (Our sins erasing):
Guide and protect, we pray, (Guide and protect now, we pray),
Those here and those away (Those here and all those so far away),
Who follow, night and day, (We will follow You night and day.),
You, Loving Shepherd. (Lead us, we will follow, Good Shepherd).
For Matthew (Lament & Prayer)
LamentWyoming stars in silent horror cried
as Satan's fists struck hard again,
then crucified God's gentle child.
And there the weeping night in disbelief beheld
a broken boy's despair: chilled bones, alone,
barefoot and bleeding, swaddled in an icy shroud
distilled and crystallized from autumn's tears.
O hear the first bird's cry
and feel the breaking of his heart
to realize his mother's grief.
Prayer
Why own this fear? Our silence multiplies,
condemning us complicit in his pain,
complacency our guilty wile.
Now pray his suffering might our apathy dispel;
let hopeful deeds amend and help atone.
No hateful shouts of rage--but let us call aloud
for justice, truth, and love, through sorrow's haze.
O hear the first bird's cry
and heed the waking in our hearts
lest death be vain. Rest, Matthew. Peace.
©1998, Ed Lein
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